Mama Feature #1: McKenzie + Scarlet

If there's one lesson I have learned in motherhood, it is the value in connecting to other mamas. So many incredible women wing it intentionally in their own unique way, and I want to highlight some of them, who do exactly that. If you know a mama (or are one) who would like to be featured, please email me at [email protected]. 

When I decided to start Mama Features, I knew I wanted to talk to McKenzie. She is a CEO and entrepreneur and the mother to a beautiful 5-month-old baby girl named Scarlet. While pregnant, she dealt with insane and enduring "morning" sickness, weekly flights, an out-of-state move in the third trimester, and opened a fourth office. Postpartum, she hit the ground running juggling work and a newborn and rather than hire fulltime help, has been mom-ing and CEO-ing simultaneously, bringing Scarlet to the office, on out-of-state conference trips, and exemplifying how badass and dynamic moms are. There is absolutely no exaggeration when I say McKenzie is a powerhouse. 

McKenzie shared that she sits down every week with her fiancé to do "Big Rocks" a concept by Stephen Covey (learn more here:  BigRocks | Time Management | You can design your life ).  This metaphor explores how you can best spend your limited time (represented by a glass vase). Everything can fit, if you fill the vase in a mindful order. You must prioritize your biggest rocks (the most important tasks), then make room for your medium-size rocks (urgent tasks), and finally use the gaps that remain for the sand (least important tasks, social media, emails, etc.). I want to use this structure to share "a big rock, medium rock, and sand" takeaway I had from my discussion with McKenzie. 

BIG ROCK: Strategic Flexibility 
Prior to becoming a mom, Mckenize shared how she was a creature of consistency. She lived by a specific routine and would execute (clearly a true entrepreneur at heart). Though in postpartum life, she quickly realized that flexibility was going to be important in order to maintain productivity and a positive headspace. So, McKenzie uses that Sunday family meeting to schedule in what matters most and to make space for the rest. She said non-negotiables for her each week were the need for that family meeting to map out big rocks for everyone, 3-4 hours in the sun, and time to work. She would spend the morning on conference calls in her backyard and what a brilliant way to fit in two big rocks at once. When we spoke, McKenzie had been working two days in-office and two days at home. She also carved time to have family meals, spend quality time with Scarlet, and exercise (including a mommy-and-me workout class using your baby as your weight...again hitting two rocks at once).

McKenzie emphasized the importance of prioritizing mental and physical health in postpartum life. Although she loves consistency and follow-through, she's embracing trusting the need to wing it when necessary. In fact, we needed to push our meeting time slightly for this interview (which was informal and no problem at all) and she shared how it was a stretch for her to ask but she embraced that it was what needed to be done. THIS is so important for moms to do: have the courage to ask for what we need. I think I can speak for McKenzie, myself, and many other mamas (maybe you included) that doing this can feel so challenging. However, by doing it ourselves we give other moms the permission to set boundaries. 

"Consistency finishes what intensity starts." McKenzie shared this quote with me, and I can't help but think her mindfulness in planning and permission to be flexible enables her to support her employees, family, friends, and daughter to the best of her ability. Intensity can get you far, but burning yourself at both ends will lead to burnout. Wisely, McKenzie knows how to plan, how to focus, and how to pivot. 

MEDIUM ROCK: The Mom Title 
While McKenzie shared that she always knew she wanted to be a mom and wanted to have a family, she was surprised just how much she has loved BEING a mom. McKenzie lives in Arizona, and nowhere near family. So, Scarlet goes where mom and dad go most of the time. She shares dinners at great restaurants (loving all the sensory stimulation), comes along to black-tie awards events, and even went on her first out-of-country excursion to Mexico this month. McKenzie and her fiancé work hard and adventure hard too, and they are a beautiful example of how the life you live can be amplified by the addition of a little one, and not hindered by it. You don't need to change your lifestyle to fit what a baby needs but can create a beautiful life that resonates for the entire family. Just like in business, McKenzie marches to the beat of her own drum and her version of motherhood is her own unique beat and Scarlet is thriving dancing to its rhythm. 

When I see how Scarlet has her own setup in McKenzie's office (even her own mini Apple laptop) at work or how McKenzie is present on our monthly Mastermind calls while breastfeeding Scarlet and still adding to the conversation meaningfully, I am ever impressed by the way she embraces her obligations with motherhood. She shows up with intensity and consistently follows through.

The title of mom is a beautiful one. I know it will be a cliche to say you don't get it until you are one, but I think what that statement means is truly you don't know the impact that title will have on you until you are one. This made me reflect on my own feelings attached to this title. For me, being a mom emboldens me to grow. While I have always felt as though I am a growth-mindset person, I believe it has sharpened my desire to grow and remain aligned to my values. Rather than seeking growth from a place of lack or a need to be better, I do so with greater compassion and love (not only for Genevieve and others but myself too). I do not have space for gossip or negative people. I have more patience and a deeper desire to value connection. I strive to seek gradual improvements each day instead of trying to redline myself with a Big-Gulp-sized goal (aiming for a 10K instead of a half marathon for example). I am simply more present and joyful on my journey, and when I spoke with McKenzie about the title of motherhood, I know that parallels her experience as well. 
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SAND: Support System
I mentioned McKenzie doesn't live near family and is an active CEO of a company with four offices in different states (and in the process of opening two more). How on earth does she do this and care for Scarlet? She describes ways she does utilize help and support. For the first month after Scarlet was born, McKenzie's mom came to bond and assist. Gushing at their sustained connection from afar, McKenzie shared how the Facebook Portal (video conferencing device) enables her mom to "babysit" Scarlet (with McKenzie nearby of course). Since the device focuses in on the subject if it moves, her mom can read to Scarlet and watch her while McKenzie can be in the room but have her attention divided. 

In the office, there is an employee that loves babies and will take Scarlet during a presentation or meeting. Whether McKenzie works from home or the office, she will also utilize an Uber-Nanny-like service (uniquely only in Arizona right now) called BusyBees that links nannies and sitters to mothers. You can work with a favorite nanny or find someone new, and it is a great way to secure childcare on a flexible basis (daycare usually requires full-time payment and traditional nannies are a costly commitment). I hope this service takes off, because I know so many families who would benefit from this type of service. Fortunately, McKenzie does have a good friend who lives in the area who comes and spends time with Scarlet as well, and who was vital when both she and her fiancé were down with the flu.

Each circle of helpers for mamas looks different, but we truly get by with a little help from our friends (insert any word here like family, coworker, etc.). While support may be under the 'sand' category, it isn't because support is less important, but this support fills in where we cannot--just like the sand does in Covey's metaphor. 

Wanting to link the interview to the concept of the blog, my last question for McKenzie was "how does winging it or intentionality play into your experience as a mom?"  She laughed and said, "it's basically the whole experience." She went on to say how she is intentional about the way she shows up each day. But each day she wings it in HOW that looks. McKenzie is at the opposing spectrum of me in terms of careering in mamahood: her a CEO and I a stay-at-home mom. I am here to say one is not better than the other. I have found so much value in sharing my journey of motherhood beside McKenzie and other mamas--similar or dissimilar to me. I hope your tribe is broad and that you too can learn from and connect with all the ways motherhood can look, we are stronger for it, and I know our daughters will be too.