#54: Partial to the Process

“The process doesn’t need perfection, only your attention.” This is certainly something I’ve had to practice applying (and remind myself to do). Getting swept away by a goal or outcome we want to see to fruition can be easy; but we cannot achieve what we set out to without being in and with the process. While I am currently a couple weeks out from my first stage in six years, I have held the perspective that this stage is a moment of celebration and a steppingstone along my journey of self-refinement. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about it–I absolutely do and have given my best effort over the duration of my prep. Rather; it also means that I won’t crumble if I don’t do well. Regardless of the outcome on contest day: the body I’ve honed will continue to be mine to shape as I proceed–again in process–to build and refine further. 


[Being in Process]
Falling in love with the process can sound silly, but it is the easiest way to inspire adherence. I genuinely love the whole foods and simple meals I eat. When I am not in a cut for a prep, I look forward to eating them only in greater quantities. I am invigorated by challenging cardio and moving throughout my day. I absolutely love a good pump and the feeling of stretch and contraction from working my muscles during a lift. I also appreciate how my mood, energy, and health markers are excellent from these consistent habits. It is true that “what you do everyday matters more than once in a while.” The process is your lifestyle–it is not a quick fix or a temporary Band-Aid with no plan for what comes next. After my show I plan to go right back to my recommended dietary, training, and cardio plan. I still don’t even have cravings or really wish to eat anything that’s going to throw my mind and body out of whack. What does that tell you? I love my process.

Life IS the process, so enjoying life requires enjoying the process. In an interview with Louis CK, he described how people go to a mountain’s peak, but that’s not where they live. We have to get comfortable–and choose joy–in the winding journey up, down, and around the mountain. Afterall, we spend much more time there. If we focus on the outcome or event, we are more apt to phoning in the days and bring less dynamic energy to them. Not to mention those peak moments are such a small part of our lives, if that is all we look forward to, I find that quite depressing. Especially having a child, the last thing I want to do is wish away the days to get to a future date faster. 

I put my time and energy into training hard but then when that’s done for the day, that’s it. I had presence and integrity in the process giving it all I had. Then I eat, move, and rest in ways to facilitate improvements. All while code switching my focus to Genevieve and our days together. Her days are filled with play dates, library time, park time, and when I am really tired–book or Uno marathons. It was an important intention for me to ensure that Genevieve did not feel the drags of prep energy throughout this experience. I am very proud that she has continued to live her best life and I was able to use that responsibility as a source of energy to keep going with more dynamic energy. I am a firm believer that constraints make us better (and more efficient because we have to be). If there is a will there is a way, and if you try to just be in process instead of perfect at the outcome, you’re more likely to try in the first place. 

I also think that my ability to live within the process has afforded me an easier process. Prior to prepping I was basically already eating, training, and moving like a prep requires. Though I would say working with my coach enabled me to make intelligent shifts and tweaks that I am grateful for and will continue to utilize moving forward. So when I say a prep is just a stepping stone on my path, it is exactly that. I am already living with consistent habits that are sustainable and enjoyable to me. I am still shocked by how much food I am still consuming and how little cardio I need to do so close to stage. My energy and mood are still excellent and this version of my body is my favorite to date. Being in flow and relaxing into the process in this prep has brought me so much more success and enjoyment than the control and focus I had in preps prior. 

[The Way, The Present, and The Process] 
While I might be surprised by how little suffering, I have experienced this prep, it coincides with many Taoist principles that I hold close (and shouldn’t be surprised by). Chapter 9 expresses: 

Fill your bowl to the brim
And it will spill. 
Keep sharpening your knife 
And it will blunt. 
Chase after money and security 
And your heart will never unclench. 
Care about people’s approval
And you will be their prisoner. 

Do your work, then step back. 
The only path to serenity. 

Effort is needed to proceed; however, we don’t need to attach deeply to how it will get us to the outcome. Furthermore, energy is wasted when we focus on the outcome and better utilized in the present moment. For example, when I am lifting, I do not fixate on the amount of weight I am lifting. I do utilize progressive overload, but I am always paying attention to what feels taxing that day and how I control the weight and stretch & contract my muscles. I check in and might do a drop set, pause reps, or slow negatives to make something feel more challenging. I would argue this is a more advanced approach, and that I am able to do that by being present in the process of my lifts. Then I step back and know I did the best work I could that day and move forward.

We also should not focus only on the outcome because it is completely out of our control. We cannot predict what it will be like when we get there. Conversely the actions we can take in the present moment are the only variables we can influence. Aligning with Chapter 29 of the Tao Te Cheng which says: 

There is a time for being ahead, 
A time for being behind;
A time for being in motion; 
A time for being in rest; 
A time for being vigorous; 
A time for being exhausted;
A time for being safe, 
A time for being in danger. 

The master sees things as they are, 
Without trying to control them.
She lets the go their own way, 
And resides at the centre of the circle. 

This is another great exemplifier of why direction matters more than speed towards achieving something. If we reside in the center and take things as they arise, we can hold and carry them with a lighter energy. For example, I just recovered from food poisoning. While it ravaged me for 36 hours, I was able to give myself full rest during that time while prioritizing eating and hydrating. I accepted that I was knocked down, but I hoped I would be able to resume training the following day. I did not put pressure on that but rather listened to my body. I was able to get in a solid training day, pose, and walk 3 miles. This was not “grinding it out” because I had to in order to achieve my goal. Rather, it was resuming my process once my body was healed. I chose not to do the heaviest weights, but I still challenged myself and feel better for having done it. If I would have had to miss, I would have surrendered to that too (here’s a friendly note not to trust 4-day-old shrimp). 

The outcome will come to pass regardless–for a moment it will be THE moment you’re experiencing. So save it and savor it for what it is. Enjoy the peak but remember it is not your home. You can only respond to what comes along your path as you navigate up and down the mountain. And you’ll be more creative, flexible, and accepting of that when you embrace the process and path over the outcome or destination. Health in general isn’t a destination. So many wish to lose 10-30 lbs. without understanding that they need to modify the lifestyle that keeps them that high above their desired maintenance. You create your future outcomes by crafting your present processes. Finding gratitude and enjoyment are keys to enduring consistency in habits and process. You will experience difficulties and unexpected bumps but keep your mind to the present. Respond and use what’s around you and simply proceed. 

[Ways to Enjoy the Process]
Even when we go through difficult times, we can find gratitude and enjoyment in our days. Last Christmas I was experiencing my second miscarriage, my daughter had a staph infection, and each of us came down with the flu. We were grateful to not have lofty holiday plans and the ability to be together with little to do (and plenty of new toys and activities to keep G entertained). Life consists of all the wonderful, terrible, and mundane moments we experience. Even when times are bleak, there can be joy. 

One way I keep my attention on the process of my bodybuilding journey instead of just the stage is to have fun with the workout clothes I wear each day. I wear things that first and foremost are comfortable to move in (minus the tube tops from Skims that I love but are functionally not my favorite). Confidence is a skill and an action; you have to practice it. By wearing things that I move well in and look good in, I have better energy and joy each day when I am lifting. It also helps me appreciate the current body I am in. I was recently telling a friend to just rock the sports bra now because by looking at that area more you’re more likely to watch your posture and choices to feel comfortable and confident wearing it. I also joke (but believe it to be true) that we are like lizards and will grow to the size of our enclosure. Wear big, blocky clothes of poor quality and you’ll just feel heavier and worse. To each their own, but I find joy in enjoying what I am wearing and it makes connecting with other women at the gym easier because it’s a conversation starter. I believe our lives are our own artistic expression, so I enjoy experimenting with my style and feeling my authentic energy emanate (in and out of the gym). 

I also take pictures and videos and share them regularly. This helps me appreciate each version of myself and the journey of growth as a whole. It takes pressure off of stage photos or worrying about what I look like there alone. I can look back at a catalog of how I looked during the process and appreciate feeling confident and enough in those versions of myself too, which will be helpful when I reverse and will not be stage lean. I also find sharing my workouts, food, mindset posts, etc. are again jump-off points to connect with others. So often people express how hard it is to make friends as an adult and as a two-time transplant from my hometown: I feel abundantly filled with support, friendships, and casual connections. I will attest that this comes from me sharing my life and allowing others to get to know me. 

I am able to stay connected to those I don’t see or talk to frequently. When people tell me, “I feel like I know what is going on in your life or connected to Genevieve even though we don’t talk much!” I respond “yes, and I’d love to know what is happening in your life too!” I find it to be exhausting to share one-off updates to every single person, so keeping an active story as a snapshot of my day and what resonates to me is an easy way to allow those in my life a way to keep up with me. I am not a content creator or curator because those things feel inauthentic. I don’t want to share to have an audience; I want to share authentically to create space for genuine connection. I don’t treat information, details of my life, my physique, etc. as precious and only allowed for a select few. Instead, I share openly and believe it has afforded me better connections. 

Similarly, I don’t treat the show details as precious–honestly–I am not someone that treats much as precious. What I mean by that is nothing is a “big reveal” I will post a video or picture in my contest suit. I have a Louis Vuitton and I use the shit out of it. Cute clothes? I am not saving them, today is a good enough day to enjoy them. By allowing things to be a part of my process I get to enjoy them more instead of only for a big special moment (or not using them at all because I worry it isn’t “the perfect moment”), because again: our life is filled with far fewer big moments. Be less precious with your stuff and what you share and notice how their presence along your journey improves the path. 

I think joy also comes by enjoying whatever comes along your path. Something bad happened? That sucks, but what’s the lesson? Something unexpectedly awesome happened? Great, how can you appreciate and use that energy right now? It’s a hum drum day or phase? That’s fine, how can you embrace consistency over intensity of being an on/off switch? The path to your goal or outcome will hold unexpected obstacles, but by embracing and winging it, that obstacle becomes a resource. But you need to intentionally figure out how to utilize what awaits you on your path. So be present, attentive, and open to what you find along your way. And ensure you’re doing other fulfilling things in your life while you focus on your goals. Attending to my daughter and writing are invigorating endeavors I make space for amidst my prep. And let me caution those who roll their eyes that I am a stay-at-home mom, and they have a full-time job and are therefore too busy. Most of the people I know who compete have demanding careers and additional projects, families, and responsibilities that fill their calendars. Of course, some seasons of life don’t warrant adding certain disruptors or activities in, but I challenge you to notice when that is an excuse or an actual barrier.  

Being present in the process is the surest way to enjoy the life you already have. Goals and challenges ought to give us direction but are not a destination. Joy comes from presence, so be where you are and flow with disruptions while adhering to choices that move you into the direction you seek. Control is an illusion, force will not assure you an outcome, but it will steal your joy. Be curious about ways you can find enjoyment along your journey and how to share and connect with others along the way. After all, “it’s not what you get from reaching your goals; it’s who you become in the process.”-Zig Ziglar