#32: Christmas Gifts + Baby

I am not a stuff person. 'Gifts' do not medal on my love language list. If you come to my house you will notice we don't have--nor need more space for--stuff. I will D or D: dump or donate anything we do not regularly or seasonally use. We rotate G's toys and she doesn't have an abundance of them. This is a purposeful decision because we want her to grow a deeper understanding of the items she does have and have repeated experiences learning with and experimenting on her toys. Plus, so many items in our house can become a toy (like a bowl and wooden spoon). Similarly, we are not big fans of feedback toys. Namely because these toys, while entertaining, are the one 'doing' and it allows for more passive play. I do have a walker/bouncer that was gifted to us and a ball that rolls on its own and talks to promote crawling. So it isn't that I am against using them, but I also don't seek them out. I occasionally utilize these toys, but I prefer to stick to wooden, silicon, and organic fabric material toys that allow Genevieve the freedom to take the lead in play. 

Whether you are a minimalist and want only a few presents under the tree or love the overflowing sea of presents, I can guarantee your child will feel the magic of the morning you create. In this post I want to detail some of the intentional choices I will be making this year in order to begin making Christmas morning magical for Genevieve. 

'The presents were wrapped with ribbon and bow'
Growing up I always had a ton of presents underneath the Christmas tree. I definitely enjoyed opening all the presents I received and actually believed in Santa until sixth grade because I didn't think my parents could spend that much on us each year. Though I can still recall one Christmas where all I wanted was an Ibanez guitar. I had been taking lessons with my grandpa's antique guitar--which was so cool--but I really wanted my own. My brothers will still detail how I 'ruined Christmas that year (don't worry, we all took turns earning that title) throwing a tantrum about not getting the one thing I really wanted. Another year I remember the Nook came out just after Christmas. I was so upset because I would rather have had that than any of the gifts I received on Christmas. My parents, being very supportive of my love of reading, bought it for me anyway. 

I detail both of the above examples to say: it wasn't the abundance of gifts that I remember (if I remember the gifts at all) it was one single item. I do not play guitar now (though we have two that Andrew plays) and as an adult can totally understand my parents not wanting to buy a several hundred dollar present I may or may not use. And I also appreciate my parents spending an addition $200 on a reading device after the holidays. I can empathize with how hard it is to parent and present, especially now that the baton is passed to me.

Andrew and I have decided to try out a five present system. This intentional gift-giving lens allows us to give Genevieve multiple presents under the tree, while hitting different values of gift giving. Gifts may not be a top love language for me, but they could be for G; I do not hold them as valueless. Genevieve will receive one gift from each of the five categories: 

• Something to read 
• Something to wear 
• Something to experience 
• Something needed 
• Something wanted 

I find that having parameters around the type of gift Genevieve will recieve makes me more intentional as I hunt (shop) for that *right* gift without going overboard. We are not in competition with having the best, most expensive, or trending gift. I will share examples for what will be under Genevieve's first Christmas tree this year (she will be seven months old this Christmas). 

Something to Read 
Andrew and I love Paddington Bear. We have discussed naming a future Newfie Paddington Bear and spent Thanksgiving and the day after watching Paddington 1 and 2 (while our baby child was asleep). So I found a box set of Paddington Bear books that we can read to G. This allows her the space to fall in love with a character that we love too. Genevieve won't be watching the movies for a few more years, but we will definitely get to share the love of this character together through these cardboard pages until then. I specifically chose board books at this age because I want her to be able to interact with them now and in months to come. If I chose a normal paper book, this wouldn't be a gift she could explore independently or often right now. 

Something to Wear
Andrew and I are utilitarian, so when we need something: we get it. Therefore we simply buy clothes when we need them. Genevieve has size-appropriate clothes in organic materials and cute patterns and natural colors. I am also fortunate that my mom has great taste and sends G a clothing care package whenever we are about to enter a new size. I also order from my favorite boutique: Kate Quinn whenever we are moving up. I try to make sure Genevieve's clothing promotes movement and isn't restricting (though she dose adorn an occasional dress). I also do not like gaudy clothing and traditional 'baby girl' or cheesy sayings. When I get things like this I simply add them to my donation pile. When considering what wearable item I wanted Genevieve to have for this gift, I wanted it to be something seasonal and fun. I saw a friend posting winter mommy-baby matching hats that she makes as a side hustle. I saw this as a fun opportunity to support a friend and side-hustling mama, get something seasonally 'winter' appropriate, and cute. Instead of just using this as an opportunity to buy an order from Kate Quinn, I wanted the wearable gift to be special and I think these hats will service as such. 

Something to Experience 
Genevieve is at the age right now where she is very observant and likes watching and following various stimuli. Therefore, when it came to what experience we would want to gift her, it wasn't going to be Disneyland or a trip to an interactive children's museum. Instead we considered zoos in our area and decided to get family tickets to the zoo. Yes, it does not actually cost anything to take your baby to the zoo (or at least the baby's ticket is free). But by purchasing our tickets, it commits us to taking Genevieve to the Waco Zoo to see animals and appreciate a novel sensory experience. 

Something Needed
I considered her age and developmental stage. Since G is developing the Piagetian cognitive skill of object permanence, I wanted to get her a gift that enables her to practice and experiment with this skill. I knew this would be the perfect time to purchase the Montessori object permanence box. This box has a circle hole at the top to fit a wooden ball. The box is also made of wood and has another hole in the side for the ball (dropped from the top) can roll out of into a holding area. The box I chose for Genevieve is natural wood, but contains three balls in bright primary colors. This will allow Genevieve to run experiments in play like: can I fit more than one ball through the hole at once? (No) Does it matter what color ball goes in? (No) Will they all come out? (Yes) Can another toy go through the hole, what if it doesn't roll? A very simple toy can be used and experienced in a multitude of ways. 

To be honest, I got a little ahead of myself. Originally, I chose an object permanence box that actually had multiple shapes and matching slits at the top "hole" that could be changed to fit only that unique object's shape. However, upon receiving it I noticed the pieces were too small for Genevieve to explore independently. So I am going to put this toy away and gift it to her for her as a one-year birthday present instead since it will be perfect to build on the skills with the more basic box. I had hoped to simply use the ball and circle hole for a while and then introduce the other shapes and shape slits as she needed additional challenge, but the size of the shapes were simply smaller than I expected and it would not be safe to do so. 

Something Wanted
This is not the easiest gift to buy because I cannot ask Genevieve 'hey, want do you want this year?' So  while I cannot ask her what she'd like, I do have a plan. We will hit a few stores with G and I will see what catches her eye or that she gravitates towards. I will allow her natural interest to inspire the gift instead of browsing the internet or Etsy myself to choose what she wants. This way I am honoring the value of her choice while also realizing a baby doesn't have strong opinions about desired gifts just yet. 

'The stockings were hung with care'
I will also utilize Genevieve's stocking in addition to her five presents under the tree. When she wakes up on Christmas Eve, her stocking will be filled with presents to be used that day in the spirit of the holiday. Inside her Christmas Eve stocking will be:

•  A set of Christmas jammies (mom and dad will get them too)
• A new Christmas-themed book 
• A 'ticket' to a Christmas movie we will watch that day/night as a family 

Andrew and I value fostering Holiday memories in our own home with our nuclear family. These gifts on Christmas Eve enable us to do just that. I envision a day spent in jammies as Andrew preps our holiday feast, we bake and decorate cookies for Santa, and laugh and sing Christmas carols. We will read the Christmas books we have in our library and read our newest book just before going to bed for the night. This year that book will be The Night Before Christmas, a classic and must-have read (in my book at least). Then at some point in the day we would watch a Christmas movie on one of our streaming services. I operate from the place that kids like boundaries and need limited choices. So this won't be a ticket to "choose whatever you like." Instead Andrew and I will choose two age-appropriate movies we think Genevieve would enjoy watching. I will then create a construction-paper ticket allowing her to choose which of the two options she wants to watch this year. Though we will not partake in the movie this year, but will begin this next year (this year is mom and dad's choice: more than likely Jim Carrey's Grinch). 

On Christmas morning Genevieve's stocking will contain two gifts: 

• A new Christmas ornament 
• A treat to eat 

This year, I am making an ornament for Genevieve. This will be clear circle ornament that will contain her hospital bands, little hat, and some purple and green paper grass. What I love about the idea of gifting an ornament each year is that when she moves on to have her own Christmas tree, I can give her all of these ornaments as a gift for her first Christmas in her own home. This feels like a special way to celebrate her first adult Christmas and acknowledge that she now will establish her own traditions that may be apart from us. And hopefully they will hold as a tangible reminder of memories made in Christmases past. 

The holiday season is filled with many yummy things. So each year we will gift Genevieve a special seasonal treat--bought or made--we think she would enjoy based on her food preferences. This year we are only newly introducing solids, so I am going to purchase a 2-pack of silicon spoons that she can eat from since she has really shown an interest already in feeding herself (and teething on) the two spoons she has. 

'Gee, an avocado, thanks!' 
I think it is of utmost importance to be grateful for any and all gifts received from others. This is why we will instill the value of giving thanks to anyone for a gift received. That being said: the only thing we owe them is a 'thank you.' If a gift does not align with the type of toys, clothing, etc. we wish G to have, or when she is older if she doesn't like it, we will not be keeping it 'just because so-and-so got it for us.' Instead we will donate the item. If the person has hurt feelings that the gift was not kept, they are certainly entitled to those feelings. But I will not fill our house and cupboards with stuff collecting dust just to be polite.

I keep an amazon list called 'Gifts Ideas for Genevieve' that I share with those who ask for what she might want for the holiday. I express that I do not hold the expectation that they buy from said list, and can buy what they think she would enjoy. However this list can serve as an idea board for the types of toys, clothes, and things we would like for her to have in a variety of price points. I am not saying 'buy what we want, or I am tossing it.' Because truly I think people can sometimes buy things that I hadn't thought of and that we love. My mom does this all the time. Genevieve loves the various toys my mom has mailed her--ALL of her favorite teether came from my mom. That being said: my mom knows the type and texture of things we are interested in and the toys align with these qualities. 

We will not harp on these categories and intentional planning to Genevieve. Though we will of course lean in to her to ask what she does want for Christmas in that category. We hope by offering gifts in different categories, it gives her an appreciation of the various types of gifts that she can enjoy and can apply to giving to others. I too am open to modifying this system as we go. For instance, part of me really wants to include a 'thing to craft' category. Maybe I will or maybe this will fit into an existing category and doesn't need its own. Similarly, I get new ideas all the time or by communicating with others. For example, I saw a friend had their Elf on the Shelf appear and bring Christmas jammies for the first appearance of the season. Part of me likes this better than my original outline to give them on Christmas Eve so that G has more time to get use out of them. So I am thinking of adjusting to that once we begin the Elf on the Shelf tradition.

While the presents we are buying her are all pretty inexpensive, we will in the future rely on big holidays like Christmas to purchase more expensive gifts like toddler playground activity centers, tiny kitchens, and toy vehicles. However since she is a tiny baby without much attachment to Christmas morning, we are opting for items that fit these categories that don't break the bank. We will also put all extended family and friend gifts under the tree to be opened on Christmas morning. This way Genevieve has a fun time opening a variety of presents and can practice delayed gratification when a package arrives early (something I admittedly suck at). Having a plan for traditions and intention around gift giving isn't meant to be a burden, but rather to enrich the depth of and meaningfulness of the experience. I would love to hear what traditions you love or can't wait to begin. Please share them in the comments, and may the season of giving begin!