# 18: A Girl's Best Friends

Throughout pregnancy we often were asked (and reflected on) how we thought Heidi and Burlioz would respond to Genevieve. I expressed Burlioz would be underfoot and Heidi would watch from a slight distance. I can say after nearly three weeks together that my assumptions were accurate. While early on the dogs would retreat to a far room or the backyard to escape Genevieve's cries, they now rarely lift their head. The dogs love sniffing Genevieve, especially her diaper, fingers, and toes and love giving her a lick on the back of her head. Transitions can be cumbersome, though thus far Genevieve, Heidi, and Burlioz all seem to have easily acclimated to one another. 

Early Establishment 
We set up the nursery and had baby items out and in the house well before Genevieve's arrival. I would read and relax in the nursery's recliner regularly. I believe these changes in setting prior to baby's arrival helped the dogs adjust to changes more easily. If we would have changed the environment abruptly as we brought home a new (and occasionally loud) little person the dogs would have likely felt more uncertain and unsettled.

When I was still in the hospital, Andrew brought home receiving blankets from Genevieve's birth for the dogs to smell. We did this in order for the dogs to understand her smell and to familiarize themselves with it prior to bringing home baby. Andrew placed the blankets in the swing and the dogs smelled them, but were much more interested in Andrew's attention. 

First Meeting
When it was time for Genevieve and I to return home the following day, we chose to be intentional about how we entered the house. Since we got Burlioz at the start of the Covid lockdown, he had never been away from me. Heidi has only been separated from us a couple times as well, and we knew they'd be very excited when we returned home. I entered the house first, alone. I asked Andrew to give me a solid two minutes before bringing Genevieve into the house. The dogs went crazy, circling and smelling me. I walked to the couch and Burlioz jumped next to me, wrapped his head around my opposite shoulder and rested his head heavily on it as if to give me a big hug. When Andrew entered the house he calmly put the carseat on the island counter and greeted the dogs as well. Next Andrew grabbed the carseat with G nestled inside and carried her to the nursery. He placed the carseat in the crib. The dogs then could smell and hear Genevieve but with ample space and a natural barrier between them. They were curious, but still very interested in Andrew and my presence. 

Next we took Genevieve out of the carseat and I held her in the recliner. Andrew continued to interact with the dogs and they head tilted to her sounds. At one point Burlioz barked at her noises and we corrected him verbally. He understood and refrained from doing that again. Early on Heidi seemed sensitive to the crying. She'd nervous yawn and retreat, asking to lay on the back patio or climbing onto our bed to relax away from G. Though if G was crying and we weren't tending to her needs Heidi would find us and cry as if to tell us we needed to soothe the baby. Burlioz was more relaxed and chose to lay just outside the nursery or in his favorite spot: resting his head on the window ledge in the nursery. 

Building a Bond
Over the next couple of days we'd hold Genevieve to the dogs to smell, or let them interact with her on a boppy lounger. We were mindful that they didn't lick her face, fingers, or toes but did allow them to lick the back of her head. They remained curious about her movements, sounds, and our new routines. As each day passed they seemed more calm and relaxed. They wanted to interact with G more and more and never showed signs of jealousy or frustration. We were still careful about letting them get too close for too long to allow brief and fully positive interactions. 

A huge factor in the dogs' positive reaction I believe in the fact that we prioritized their needs too. While I nursed, Andrew would lay with the dogs on the nursery floor and pet them. Andrew kept with their two walks a day and continued to take them on car rides, which they love. I made sure that I was loving on them and petting them as well. They still had couch and bed privileges, too. I wasn't able to go on walks with the dogs yet, and Burlioz would come running to me when Andrew would get the leashes out as if to say "come on mama!" We joke that Heidi is Andrew's partner and Burlioz is mine: both dogs throw a mild fit when they don't get to walk with "their" person. But Burlioz would still go and enjoy the exercise. 

We were also intentional with how we corrected and responded to the dogs around the baby. We never yelled or pushed them away. We never blocked them from rooms or shut them out of spaces. Instead we would use "eh-eh" and keep a mild tone and use how hands to naturally block Genevieve's face if they were too close. The dogs calmly readjusted using these mild cues and would give slightly more space or settle calmly nearby. We wanted the dogs to be able to understand giving G space was necessary, but not that they were bad or wrong for being curious or interacting with her. We wanted Genevieve to be associated with good stuff, not with negative reactions or experiences. We cannot expect dogs to know exactly how to respond to a significant disruption in their environment and routine and need to be patient, loving, and guide them. Early on Heidi was a bit more overstimulated and fixation with greetings, so I would have to use my body to block her and elevate my voice more to break into her fixation. She never expressed aggressive or negative behavior, but I also wanted to ensure she wasn't overly stimulated or fixated on the baby. After the first couple days this wasn't a problem at all and Heidi would more calmly check in and then give space. 

The dogs love looking for Genevieve in the house. They will commonly smell her, where ever she is, and then still go to other "baby places" like the crib, swing, and pack-and-play almost to see if another tiny person is around too. They love her company on walks and regularly stop to check that she's still in the stroller. The first time we attempted to walk as a family I was only going up our street and turning back; Andrew then planned to complete the rest of the half-mile walk with the dogs alone. However, when I turned back the dogs became unsettled and after a brief attempt by Andrew to continue forward, he gave in and turned back. The dogs pulled him the entire way home where they then quickly inspected Genevieve. They already saw her as part of our family unit and didn't want to be away from her. 

Some of my favorite moments are of Genevieve, Heidi, and Burlioz interacting. I knew watching them bond would melt my heart. I am not someone who could put the dogs on the back burner now that we have a baby. I still prioritize snuggling my giant furry babies and love seeing how they take to G. I know watching Genevieve grow, play, and bond with the dogs will bring much joy. Similarly, I look forward to seeing how G's presence enriches the dogs' lives. We may have to vacuum and lint roll regularly, but that is a small price to pay for big love.