# 12 Holidays, Traditions, & Trips

The pace of life is typically rapid and overflowing. This is not only true for day-to-day schedules but also holidays. Andrew and I both have a majority of our family in the same area of Saint Louis, Missouri. What we remember most about holidays in STL was puzzling a schedule, driving in the car, cold meals, and rushing around. Since moving to Texas six years ago, we have abstained from the holiday hustle and bustle.

One main reason for this is because of our dogs. I have worked with a facility that boards, and I know how over-packed, under staffed, and expensive it is to board during the holidays. We refuse to do that to our dogs. Another reason is because we want to have space to enjoy the day. I think back to kids I babysat, who always traveled for holidays to their grandparents' or aunt's homes out of town. They would beg their mom just to have Christmas in their own house. Prior to conceiving Andrew and I talked about what holidays, traditions, and trips would look like and we continue to flesh out those details because being on the same page is important. 

I share what our preferences are for holidays, traditions, and trips not because ours are the right way to consider them, but it is the right way for us. I share with the intention that it helps you look at your own established ideas or to give you food for thought for ways you may meaningfully construct your own memories tailored to your own life and preferences. 

Predictable & Meaningful 
It is often said that the memories that persist from childhood into adulthood are not a single isolated incident (a certain gift for Christmas). But rather what's truly memorable is the tradition and expectation that persisted over time (waking Christmas morning to the smell of cinnamon rolls each year). This being said, we want to construct holidays for Genevieve that have embedded traditions and predictability. I am not trying to construct exactly what those traditions are yet, but am leaving space to think about what sensorial elements will be present for different holidays. 

Often, parents are so concerned with checking off every single holiday activity in the community, or piling gifts under the tree. Our focus is to strip that back. We want to meaningfully read a couple of books, watch a couple of movies, and participate in certain community activities during the season without excess. When excess exists, the emotional peaks of excitement are actually reduced. Rather than over saturating, we want to choose quality experiences and establish predictability for when they occur leading up to the holiday (most of the magic is in the anticipation). 

As it relates to gifts, we plan to take a more simplistic approach as well. For Christmas we will have stockings (some yummy treats and some small gift) and then give one gift that fits into each category: something to read, something to wear, something to do (experience), something she wants, and something she needs. For Easter we will give one easter basket with a couple servings different candies and a toy or two suited for spring weather (yard toys, bubbles, etc.). It isn't like we will be telling Genevieve "okay, here is the gift that you NEED..." but rather the gifts we buy will be rooted in this logic. She needn't know the logic behind each one. Similarly as it relates to sweets and treats, they ought to be enjoyed during the holiday season, but not in excess. A few jelly beans, a chocolate bunny, and a couple others are more than enough sugar for a little body to enjoy without overdoing it (or acting like candy is poison). 

We want Genevieve to be able to wake up in her own house. If she wants to play with a new toy or use her new craft supplies, we want her day to have space to do that. We want her to be able to love on her puppies, eat a warm and balanced holiday meal, and cuddle up to a favorite holiday read aloud or movie. We--Andrew and I-- as parents want to enjoy the holiday and memories with our daughter too. We want to be present and relaxed and participate in the holidays with her not merely shuttle her to and fro. Holidays at our own home facilitate this. 

Visitors & Visits 
While we have made the choice to be home for the holidays, if relatives or friends want to join us during a holiday break, we are open to that possibility. Andrew's dad, stepmom, and two younger siblings have spent several Thanksgivings with us in Texas and we've really enjoyed their company! Since Andrew and I have a different religion than our families, celebrating on a non-Christian holiday is likely more resonant because what we believe those holiday seasons are about (and therefore how we celebrate them) differ greatly. For example, we celebrate Easter as the beginning of spring, not the resurrection of Jesus. Since children are not rational thinkers until they are approximately 6 or 7 years old, we would prefer not to confuse her with the introduction of religion until at least that age. So a boundary we would establish is that if someone wanted to celebrate Christmas with us, those Christian elements wouldn't be overly emphasized. This is by no means to say what someone else celebrates is wrong, but rather if our celebrations are not in alignment, a different time to visit may be better. 

What's fun about family visiting at a regular time each year (holiday or otherwise) is we can fill those moments with their own fun and tradition that we can create together. The opportunity to make meaningful memories with loved ones is incredibly important and we want Genevieve to have amazing memories with her family in addition to the friends who become as close as family. I think too about trips that we can take with our siblings and their kiddos so G can bond with cousins in addition to house visits. We plan to try to make a trip to visit Saint Louis once a year, but beyond that hope to have people join us at our home or make a shared trip together. 

Another significant change for us with Genevieve will be how we spend time visiting family. Since both of our families are primarily in the Saint Louis area, Andrew and I usually would divide and conquer: hang out and sleep at our own families' homes and then each attend an activity or visit the in-laws during the trip. However, with G that will change. Instead we will be a unit: sleep at one consistent place, visit together, and return together. Also making sure we are prioritizing cousins in Kansas City or Illinois  too--rather than just focusing on parents in STL. 

When considering holidays, traditions, and trips Andrew and I are mindful that we are holding space for meaningful experiences and memories. We know that vacation time is limited and that we have to balance where-who-how we spend that time. With a large family that is not always easy to do. For instance, Andrew really values attending a trip with his dad and his former wrestling friends and coaches each year, that eats in to vacation time. Similarly, I plan to take a solo trip as well where Andrew will have to take time off to watch G while I am gone. This will be a great time for Andrew and G to spend quality solo daddy and daughter time. These solo trips too give Andrew and I an ability to make meaningful memories and also model for G that we can both travel independently and that space is important too. We are grateful to have so many people in our lives: big families and friends we have picked up along the way. We can't wait to watch the bonds form and grow from shared experiences and we can't wait to have the memories we will make.